Live music with a baby? Yes! Being a parent does not mean that you have to let go of your love for live music. Especially now that many of us, who once enjoyed the scene so often and so completely, now have children of our own. Some of my favorite memories are dancing with my babies. I love experiencing it with them and seeing the joy as they notice every small note and passerby. Live music is a way for me to connect with my kids while meeting my own needs. 

​Some festivals are definitely more family friendly than others. We are lucky in Asheville to have LEAF, one of the most family friendly festivals around, and also to be within driving distance to many others. However, even festivals and shows that are not necessarily marketed to families can be family friendly with the right planning on your part. 

Here are 8 tips to successfully rock out with your baby.

We recommend overpacking for festivals with your baby. Even if you leave half of the stuff in your car, you have it if you need or want it. These are what we consider the essentials for a festival with toddlers or babies.

Have a plan, but be prepared to ditch the plan. Check out the schedule of events in advance, decide beforehand what bands you really want to see, and give yourself plenty of time to transition between different stages. Also, accept that you will probably miss some of it. Responsibly bringing your children to a festival means that you need to put their needs first, and sometimes that means nap time in a quiet area during your favorite band. Kids have a way of throwing off the best laid plans, and even if you plan everything down to the last onesie, sometimes you are left with a screaming (and not in an excited, loving the music way) baby in meltdown mode. That brings us to the next tip...

You know your baby, and you know when your baby is having an off day. Even the most easy going of babies can have days that are incredibly cranky and filled with meltdowns. Don't push it. If it does happen to be an off day for your child, and your child can not pull it together, know that you may need to leave early (or not go at all), in order to meet your child's needs (no matter how much you love the band!) Babies before bands, y'all!

Having both a stroller and a soft baby carrier covers your bases, and your baby's moods. If you are going to an indoor show, a stroller is a hassle and unnecessary, but if you are going to an outdoor show or a festival, a stroller is very helpful. In lieu of a stroller, a wagon can also be a great baby bed, and way to carry your all your family's gear. 

It can be hard to navigate a stroller around a crowded festival, but you can use it to carry your gear, set up your home base, and then leave it with your picnic blanket while you walk around to check out other stages or get closer to stage. You can also put some battery powered fairy lights on your stroller to help keep it visible to partying festival goers, and make it easy to find for your friends and family.

This isn't our first rodeo. As experienced mothers (we have 15 children between our five doulas at Labor With Love!) and busy doulas, we know good baby products, and we know that many products marketed to new parents are unnecessary pieces of plastic that take over your house. We've done the legwork to bring you some of the best baby products available. Doula and mother approved! 

These are fairly new to the baby scene, but I predict that they are the next big thing because they are just so awesome.  DockAtot is an all in one breathable and hypoallergenic baby lounger, sleep positioner, portable crib, cosleeper and bassinet. They are meant to "reinvent the womb" and offer a safe, cozy, and soothing environment for babies. They also reduce the risk of flat head syndrome, which is one of the many reasons why I like them more than the Rock and Play. Also, I know of several babies who have never slept longer than a couple hours in a row sleep more than 5-7 hours in this thing. Ahhhhhhh. 

The Comotomo bottle is fabulous. Most plastic bottles leach gross toxic chemicals. The Comotomo is made from medical grade silicone, one of the safest materials available. It's wide mouth is also easy to clean, it has anti-colic vents, and it is a great bottle for breastfed babies, especially those who refuse other bottles. 

_Have you read the labels of your baby shampoo and wash lately? It's a chemical sh*tstorm. Even if you are shopping at the health food store, most products that you can buy are filled with known carcinogens, phthalates, and synthetics linked to hormone disruption. Babies easily absorb all these chemicals through their skin. Beautycounter has meticulous testing and only uses the safest ingredients, has a stellar rating on the environmental working group data base, and you can be confident that you are using the safest and highest quality baby products available. The baby balm is a miracle diaper cream, and works unbelievably fast on even the worst diaper rash, and the baby oil is fabulous for cradle cap, eczema, and soothing mama's stretch marks. 

Let's be honest. Every mother with a toddler knows that high chairs get disgusting. The nooks and crannies get food stuck in them, and the straps are hard to take off and wash, and they get filthy after a while. That's why we love this chair. The Baby Bjorn high chair has no straps, seat cushions, or nooks that inevitable will be covered with avocado and sweet potatoes. The tray slides right up to your baby, and it's easy and quick to clean. It's also compact and won't take up most of your kitchen.

​Oh, Ergo, how I love you! The Ergobaby carrier is probably my all time favorite piece of baby gear. It definitely has the most staying power of any piece of baby gear you will buy. It is Asheville mother approved and will take you to brunch at Sunny Point, for a beer at the Wedge, walking downtown, to LEAF, hiking in the woods, and anywhere else you need to go. Visit the Littlest Birds in West Asheville to try one on and see for yourself.

These blankets are incredibly versatile, and are lightweight enough so that babies don't feel too constricted or overheated. We love them because they are the softest blankets ever, made from eco-friendly bamboo, and they have the cutest prints around. I wish I had one my size. 

What do you think? Is there anything missing here that you feel is baby registry must have?

There was once a time when I traveled alone from North Carolina to Massachusetts with four children under six. My oldest daughter was six, my middle daughter was four, my son was a barely walking (but wanting to do it all himself) 18 months, and my daughter was still a baby.  I don't know what I was thinking. Well, actually, I do. I was thinking that it was my Dad's 60th birthday, and my siblings and I were all coming home to surprise him. Not being there was not an option. Hugh couldn't miss work, so I decided to go alone. 

I'm going to be honest. It was so hard, it actually broke me. I cried. When we finally arrived, and I managed to schlep all my kids and their 4 giant carseats and suitcases and double stroller onto the shuttle, and my teething, tired, overstimulated baby wouldn't stop crying (for what felt like hours), my 1 year old was crying because I wouldn't let him eat various debris on the shuttle floor,  and my tired 4 year old was in tired 4 year old meltdown mode, I put my head down and started crying myself, right there on the shuttle. It was a traveling fiasco. I do not recommend traveling alone with 2 babies, a 4 year old and a 6 year old. It's crazy. Absolutely looney tunes. It can be done, but it is likely that you will suffer some sort of emotional breakdown.

Good news! Traveling with one baby is totally doable. Yes, you need to be super prepared, and anticipate everything that you and your baby may need, but with some good planning, your travels can go as smoothly as possible. Here are some tips to save you from a public breakdown like mine.

As a busy Asheville doula, I have been to long births and fast births.  I have been to a super speedy, precipitous birth that was over in under an hour, and a long marathon of prodromal labor which lasted 3 days. Most women hope their labors will be on the quicker side of this spectrum. The length of your labor is not something that can be predicted, but there are a few very simple things that you can do that can contribute to faster labors.

Possibly, it's because most mothers are being taught to breastfeed in positions that are easier for older babies.  In the early weeks, learning to breastfeed is similar to learning a new dance.  It can feel awkward and ungainly.  In theory,  it's simple and it looks so easy when everyone else does it. Then when you try, you have trouble figuring out where to put your hands, your breast is engorged and bigger than the baby's head, you try to line up the nipple, and when you get it right, the baby's hands creep in there, and everything seems so hard. To top it off, everyone's talking about the importance of a latch, and how it's not supposed to hurt, and your nipples are killing you!  Yes, I've been there. Now, I am a professional doula and a mother of 4 children, and have years and years of breastfeeding experience, but I was first a new mother who was also brought to tears while figuring it out.  Many mothers have cried while dealing with breastfeeding frustrations.

 The good news? There is something simple you can do to make breastfeeding easier.  It is as simple as changing your position. Laid back breastfeeding, also called natural breastfeeding, allows the mom to relax while the baby is better able to get a good latch. The baby's tummy is down, mom is laid back, and everything works so much better! Here is a link to some videos of laid back breastfeeding to help you figure it out.  You got this! 

Of course, if you are in the Asheville area, and do find that you need some extra support (and all postpartum women deserve support!) our wonderful postpartum doulas are available.  We also facilitate a free bi-monthly new mama support group, as well as a free monthly breastfeeding café, where you can find help and support for your concerns.  Please feel free to join up with our doula moderated Facebook group, Asheville Babies, where you can ask your breastfeeding, pregnancy or new mama questions.  We are always happy to help!


Posted by Carrie Hike

Sometimes, the influx of postpartum visitors can put the added strains of cleaning, cooking, and entertaining on exhausted and overwhelmed new mothers.  Ideally, during the first week or two after birth, mothers should be resting and bonding with their new babies. This printable sign helps remind visitors of ways that they can be helpful while supporting the new family.